We will treat Swan Creek as a non-revenue generating trip for the Club, which means you only have to pay actual costs for the privilege of getting terrorized Deliverance-stlye by the rednecks on the ridge in the rain.
The total for the trip was $878.19. With nine people that's $97.58 per head. So everybody who actually floated bring a Benjamin to the post-trip party at Phil's this week (ok, so we're making money afterall).
We will gather at Phil's at 7:00 pm this Wednesday. Come join even if you didn't make it on the spring trip because we'll have a double feature slide show (Fall 2010 and Spring 2011) AND will preview the Fall 2011 river, which is a lot bigger than Swan Creek. A lot bigger.
Here are the directions from Phil, written in a language only Rob will understand.
Directions to the Wednesday House
If coming from the north, you’ll find yourself wanting to make your way to Hillsboro Road. For you urbanites, Hillsboro Road is merely a southern extension of 21st Avenue. Although the transition is demarcated effectively by the 440 Parkway crossing, you can feel confident that you’ve advanced from 21st onto Hillsboro when you notice improved spacing between ambulances and a paucity of be-spandexed fat women.
About the time that traffic comes to a complete standstill, you’ll wish you had taken the western flank known as Estes Road or the eastern assault known as Belmont Boulevard. But don’t be discouraged. Instead, don your best William Tecumseh Sherman grimace, and barrel-ass right through the heart of Green Hills. I love doing that.
Once you notice the Bluebird Café on your left and think to yourself, ‘jesus, it’s been a long time since I’ve been to the Bluebird Café and I’m damn glad cause it really wasn’t that great’, I recommend getting well-acquainted with your trip odometer. In fact, go ahead and ratchet it down 0.0, because below I will make some rather nuanced and highly generalized references to distances between landmarks and turns that may or may not seem important and damn sure won’t require use of an odometer.
Shortly further south on Hillsboro, you may sense that you’ve seen a youth sporting event - basketball, maybe baseball or soccer - somewhere near here. Take comfort in that – it means there aren’t any meth dealers watching you pass by. Next, begin to look for the large buffalo in a field toward the west. Turn left at the traffic light immediately after you see the buffalo.
If you see horses in a field to the west before you see the buffalo, you’ve gone way too far and should probably stop on the roadside to wait for Vernon’s northbound Primm Springs Express.
If, however, you made the left turn at the buffalo, proceed forward until you reach the first public road on your right. Make that turn and proceed forward until you reach the first public road on your right. Make that turn and proceed forward until you reach the first public road on your right. Make that turn. Really. At that point, you are welcome to park in the first driveway on your left, or along the street, where it will not at all be difficult to find a spot.
If you are coming from the south, I have every confidence you’ll have no trouble finding the place. 2001 Otter Valley Lane.
Really Important Notes:
1. The white dog, Danger, is sweet, kind, and couldn’t hurt any creature with a stable set of eardrums (she barks a lot).
2. The black dog is sweet and kind -- to his family – and bites others. He would like nothing more than to sink his teeth into an eloquence of lawyers. Heed this advice. By arriving at the post-trip party destination at the scheduled date and time, you warrant that you fully and completely indemnify the homeowner and dogowner of any liability whatsoever.
3. The black dog likes to hump sheepdogs, which is pretty cool.
Great scot, you have to be careful when you google-image “hump a sheepdog”. But you bastiges probably knew that.
4. Telephone number for lost souls is 3001540
Editor's Note. The file that arrived at RebelRivers.com with these directions had some placeholders for images that say "QuickTime and a decompressor are needed to open this picture," both of which are things that you can only find in Phil's warehouse so you're not going to see them here. Pictures of General Sherman making a sheepdog squeal like a pig wouldn't have made it past your firewall anyway.